Bullying cases are a burden on the whole family

Bullying cases wear on sleep, finances, work and relationships. Here is advice on carrying the burden together — also when the two of you do not see the case in the same way.

It is not only the child who is affected when bullying goes on over time — the whole family lives on alert. Acknowledging that is not weakness; it is the first step towards holding together.

Families with children are often in the establishing phase, with pressure on both finances and time. When the child is bullied, it can become a heavy additional burden for the whole family. We are aware of bullying cases that have led to moving house, sick leave, sleep problems, financial problems and the break-up of relationships.

Seek cooperation

In a bullying situation it is good to be two adults who can relieve each other, understand each other and be there for each other. It helps to be able to talk together about the bullying case, you can attend meetings with the school together and have a joint strategy for helping and supporting the child.

Acknowledge that the situation is difficult and that you may not see the case in the same way. Give each other time. Perhaps you can do some things on your own, and other things together. It is important to support each other and to give yourself and each other room to get through the crisis that bullying can be. Also tell your partner/the other parent how much his/her support means to you. Be understanding and patient. If one partner does not see the problem as clearly as the other, perhaps all that is needed is a little more time.

Many parents cooperate well even though they live apart, and that also applies in bullying cases.

Relieve each other

Children who are bullied sometimes take out their frustrations where they feel safe, such as at home, towards parents and siblings. When your patience is put to the test, it is good to be two who can relieve each other.

Bullying is not a “normal state”

Bullying is a crisis situation which can be a danger to health, and at the same time difficult to solve. Do not give up, it is not going to last forever. Work systematically on the case until the bullying has ended and the child is safe.

Read: Look after yourself

From the original FOMIS parents' guide (2018). The content is reviewed and updated.