Welcome to Foreldreguide

This guide is written by Foreningen Mobbing i Skolen (Fomis) for you who want information about how to go about stopping the bullying of children at school. We are a non-profit, cross-party, democratic and nationwide association that assists families in bullying cases. We work actively at the political level to achieve a substantial and lasting reduction in bullying.

Through our voluntary work we have gained broad experience of bullying cases. We know how hard it can be, and how the child can be helped onwards. We want to share our experience with you, so that you are better equipped when you meet the school.

This guide would not have been possible without our supporters

Our sincere thanks go to Akershus Fylkeskommune (Akershus County Council)

Our sincere thanks go to our sponsor NettSkred, who has developed this guide.

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Our advice is used at your own risk

We are parents, like you, and we are not professionals or experts. This guide is the result of years of experience with bullying cases, but it is you who know your child best and make the best decisions. What you choose to do is your responsibility. You know your child best, and must judge for yourself whether the advice suits you. Bullying can represent a serious risk to health — if the child’s health is at stake, you must seek professional help.

What makes this guide different?

There is plenty of advice against bullying, but little of it comes from the family’s side. We are the parents’ voice. We know how alone you can stand if the school does not tackle the problems. It ought to be simple to secure a safe and good school life for your child; instead you may meet resistance from the school, the municipality and the local community. How can you go about avoiding that? How can you go about overcoming it? You will find possible solutions in this guide.

Always ask; - will this make things better for the child?

It is easy to think that everything we do is in the child’s best interests. Few things are more distressing than seeing your child suffer, especially when speaking up does not help. In some cases things can get worse after you have alerted the school. It is then natural to become angry and to seek justice. Before you act, we ask you to put this question to yourself; - will what I do now help make things better for the child?

The first priority is to get the child out of a bullying situation. After that you can try to improve the systems, if you wish to.

We recommend reading the whole guide

It can take time to resolve a bullying situation. We recommend making a plan that contains different measures. If plan A does not work, move on to plan B, and some measures work well together. We therefore recommend reading through the guide, so that you know the various measures available to you.

Work on the case until you see that the child is on the right track. Follow up and make sure the new track lasts. Helping the child out of a situation where self-confidence melts like snow in the desert, and then seeing the child straighten up and go out into the world with friends and new confidence, is a gift like no other.

Happy reading, and good luck!

Read: What is bullying?