When the case has gone too far

When the child's health is at risk, dialogue alone is no longer enough. This is how you combine formal measures with continued alliance-building — and trade popularity for respect.

Sometimes the bullying case has gone so far that soft measures are no longer sufficient. If the child’s health is at risk, action must be taken.

Seek allies even if you use formal measures

Report the bullying case, start working with Statsforvalteren (the County Governor) and obtain legal assistance if necessary, as described in the next chapter. In parallel, you can use soft measures. Build alliances with other parents, let the family’s experience become known in the local community and do what you can to prevent potential stigmatisation and isolation.

Liked or respected?

For most of us it is important to be liked. When we use formal measures, we are criticising school staff and the school owner for breaking the law. That does not necessarily make you popular.

By working objectively and systematically to reduce the bullying, with the legal measures we have at our disposal, the lack of popularity can be replaced by increased respect.

If you become less liked, but more respected, that can be a change which produces results and is worth the discomfort.

Read about the soft strategy: Cooperation with parents

Read about the formal strategy: Open a bullying case

From the original FOMIS parents' guide (2018). The content is reviewed and updated.