Does school dominate leisure time as well? Then it may be wise to consider alternatives

A negative class environment often follows the child through SFO (the after-school programme), friendship groups and sport. Arenas with no connection to the class can give the child breathing space, mastery and new friends.

Many children spend large parts of both the school day and their leisure time with their classmates. If the class environment is negative for the child, we recommend considering alternatives outside school hours.

Primary school often begins early in the morning with SFO, continues with lessons, ends with SFO, then friendship groups, homework groups and finally rounds off the evening with football or handball, for example. Many children move between different arenas during the day where they meet the same people and the same social hierarchies as in the class.

If the class consists of a few “cool” children at the top, a large group who back up the “cool” ones and a group of “uncool” children at the bottom, the social environment is not very rewarding for many of the pupils. Leisure activities such as football and handball often have their origin in the class. The result can be, for example, that “popular” pupils are picked first, get the ball most and develop best, at the expense of others. For children who are bullied and frozen out, it can be directly harmful only to associate with social groups that have their origin in the class environment.

We recommend considering activities as a supplement and an alternative to the class environment.

Some examples can be;

Alternative SFO: There is usually less staffing at SFO than during school hours, and bullying can occur at SFO. In some places there are alternative SFO provisions such as dance, tennis, swimming and so on. Some SFO activities offer collection from the school.
Your own leisure activities: You can try out different leisure activities and see what the child enjoys, and perhaps discover “hidden” talents. In many places there is a rich choice of activities; what about trying music, chess, drama or drawing?
Summer camp: Many municipalities offer various summer camps for children; there are riding camps, sea camps, scout camps, band trips and other summer events. Do contact your municipality and find out what is on offer. The prices are in many cases moderate.
Children in sport: Physical activity is healthy for everyone, not least for children who have been subjected to bullying. It can give strength and self-confidence and reduce stress and frustration. Do look into both team sports and individual sports. Team sports can place a positive emphasis on interaction, but not everyone is equally visible in a team. In individual sports there can be a greater focus on the individual child.
Competitive sport: If the child/young person starts to compete actively, the school environment can become steadily less significant as the sport takes up more time. The focus shifts to training, tournaments, competitions, travel and friends across class, school and place of residence. Some apply to upper secondary schools with sports programmes, which are not necessarily in their home municipality. Some go on to scholarships in the USA, while a number of children stop competitive sport when they reach puberty. However long the child is active in sport, for the great majority it will be a positive time and a good memory.

Costs can be kept down

Sport and activities for children and young people can cost large sums, but you can try out different arenas without spending a lot of money. Here are some tips;

Marching band activities usually offer the loan of an instrument. Large parts of the activities are financed through voluntary help from parents and from the children, which can be enjoyable and help to build networks.
Some sports clubs have second-hand sales. Then you can bring along all the equipment that has become too small since last season, and buy second-hand in the right size for the next season. You can update equipment in several sports without the difference in cost being large.
In individual sports you can give priority to group lessons/courses rather than buying private lessons.
If the child likes an activity a lot and wants to invest in it, it can be a good opportunity for the family to contribute through their presents to the children, such as at Christmas and birthdays.

Activity can be healthy in itself

When life is filled with positive activities there is less time to brood over the bullying and over what made “me” of all people a target. There can be little time alone, and the bullying can more quickly become a distant memory.

Mastery

Follow up the activities so that the new arenas turn into positive mastery.

Read: Why might changing school be an alternative you should consider?

From the original FOMIS parents' guide (2018). The content is reviewed and updated.