Meeting with the school

It is completely normal to dread this meeting. You go in as a party to your own case, with the dearest thing you have as the subject. Good preparation makes you calmer — and the meeting better.

We receive a fair number of enquiries from families preparing for a meeting with the school.

Going into a meeting with the school may sound simple, but in practice it can be difficult for several reasons;

• Emotions are strong because the child is suffering.

• Most parents lack experience of this type of meeting, while the child’s well-being and health may be at stake. That can make the situation tense.

• If the school has shown reluctance to acknowledge that bullying is taking place, you may feel unsure how to proceed.

• If you have been subjected to bullying yourself, your emotions may be especially strong. In some cases you may risk overreacting if you have very bad experiences of school yourself. Remind yourself that this is about your child, not you. Look at the case as objectively as you can.

Well-known pitfalls in school meetings are:

• The school plays down the bullying.

• In some cases the family may experience threats.

• The minutes from the meeting do not match what was said in the meeting.

• Emotions are strong and it is easy to lose your composure.

• Important matters were not raised in the meeting.

• The school promises to raise the bullying with the families of the children who bully, but in practice it does not happen.

• The school promises to put measures in place against the bullying, but after the meeting the measures fail to materialise, or they are carried out half-heartedly and have no effect.

• The meeting lacks a follow-up plan.

With good preparation, the likelihood increases of a good meeting that brings progress in the case.

Read: Conducting the meeting