Document everything

Your log can decide the case. Write down incidents, meetings and agreements the same day they happen — here is what to include, and how to keep it.

Why does documentation matter?

If the school takes bullying seriously it is usually resolved, and you would probably not be reading this guide. Problems tend to arise where bullying is played down and the family is not heard. In such cases it is important to have documentation of the bullying.

With documentation it becomes harder for the school to dismiss the case. Good documentation also matters a great deal if the case goes on to a formal complaint, a police report, Konfliktrådet (the National Mediation Service), court proceedings and/or the media.

In this guide you will find two main strategies against bullying: the first is the soft approach, with a focus on cooperation between parents and the school; the second focuses on rights and formal measures. We recommend gathering documentation whichever strategy you begin with.

Create a folder

Set up a physical and/or electronic folder and keep all documentation relating to the bullying.

Details matter

Bullying is offensive behaviour repeated over *time. *The individual incident may seem trivial, but document it all the same. Taken together they can show a pattern that gives an understanding of what the child is being subjected to.

Examples of documentation include:

Photograph injuries.
Document incidents in a log where you note the date, time, place and who was present. Where appropriate, you can ask for confirmation from others who were there.
Keep a log of the child’s own experiences, and of the things the child says.
Obtain written documentation where possible; for example from teachers, other parents, doctors and any others involved.
Keep all documents.
Consider making recordings.
Documentation from professionals carries weight. Obtain a legeattest (a medical certificate) to document the harm caused by the bullying.
Communicate with the school in writing and file all correspondence.
Be aware that the school may also be documenting carefully. Everything you say, do and write can be recorded, and can be used against you if you act in the heat of the moment or in a way that may be seen as blameworthy.

Keep a correct and courteous tone

It is unlawful to let children be bullied at school, and when you take up a bullying case you may be exposing breaches of the law that carry criminal liability for the school’s management and owner. The school’s management may feel threatened, and it is not unusual for schools to respond by playing down the complaint, and they may even attack the family and its credibility.

Keep a cool head, and write in such a way that anyone can read what you write and still take the family seriously. Future readers may be other parents, Statsforvalteren (the County Governor), municipal employees, the police, lawyers and journalists.

This is easier said than done; feelings run strong when your child is suffering and those responsible are not doing their job. Try anyway. Write the text, leave it for a while, then read it aloud, preferably to your partner, and make corrections before you send it. Add the usual courtesies.

Read: Using a voice recorder

From the original FOMIS parents' guide (2018). The content is reviewed and updated.