Seek cooperation with other parents

Bullying is rarely just one child's problem. Alliances among the parents carry weight with the school — and protect the family from isolation.

To solve problems in the school environment, we recommend establishing cooperation with other families. Try to create an awareness among the parents of the problems in the class environment, so that you can solve the problems together. It can also prevent any isolation and stigma affecting children who are subjected to bullying, and their families.

When there is bullying at a school, it may indicate problems with the leadership, and that they lack strategies for handling offensive behaviour. If that is the case, other children may also be subjected to bullying. Talk to the parents to find out who experiences the class environment as negative. Ask whether they will join a meeting with the school to get measures in place that can improve the class environment.

A negative school environment can affect many in the class, even if they are not directly subjected to bullying. Many parents may be interested in improving the school environment, even if their own child is not directly affected by the bullying. Hardly anyone wants bullying at their children’s school, whether as those subjected to it, those carrying it out or those watching.

Be careful with the terms you use

Many people become tense when they hear words such as bullying, bully and victim of bullying. Parents care about a good relationship with the school and will often back off if they feel it is at risk. Talk about behaviour and the school environment rather than bullying. Discuss how the class environment can be made better.

Contact the parent representatives who hold positions at the school

Once you have established cooperation with other parents, we recommend contacting the parents’ formal representatives at the school. These may be class contacts, or representatives on SU (the school’s cooperation committee) and FAU (the parents’ working committee). Most people who take on voluntary positions at the school have a genuine wish for a good school environment, and will be receptive to input.

Arrange a meeting with the parent representatives, and go into the meeting together. It is a good idea to draw up an agenda in advance so that you as parents speak with one voice. The aim is to bring the representative with you into the meeting with the school, so that you increase the chance of the school starting good measures.

Discuss the problems in the environment and alternative solutions. It is a good idea to define concrete proposed solutions that you can put to the school. Here are some examples:

Is offensive behaviour happening on the way to and from school? Perhaps the children can be divided into groups where they walk home at different times, or perhaps parents can take turns walking with the children?
Is offensive behaviour happening during break times? You can suggest activities, programmes and supervision that prevent the problems. In some cases parents have helped out with supervision during break times. There are programmes, such as the Trivselsleder programme, that organise positive activities during break times.
Has the pupils’ picking of football teams at the long break been turned into a humiliating process where the “uncool” children are always picked last? That can easily be solved by dividing them into fixed teams.
Children with violent or threatening behaviour can be given dedicated adults who accompany them through the school day and prevent offensive behaviour.
If there are specific children who behave offensively and are subjected to it, you can divide them into different classes, groups and times so that contact is kept to a minimum.
Is exclusion a problem? The parents can agree on a shared approach to birthdays among other things, so that individual pupils are not left out or find that no one comes to their birthday party.
There are a number of external resources with expertise in improving the class environment.

If you succeed in uniting the parents and the representatives around a shared understanding of the problems, with concrete proposals for solutions, you stand stronger in the meeting with the school. That increases the chance of achieving changes.

Do seek advice about measures

Do you want to know more about which solutions you can propose to the school? Then you can seek advice from:

Statsforvalteren (the County Governor): They are both an adviser to the schools and the appeal body in bullying cases. As parents you can make informal contact without opening a complaint case. Explain the issues and ask for advice.
Barneombudet (the Ombudsperson for Children): They have been given funding to act as children’s “advocate” in bullying cases and have expertise in solutions.
Utdanningsdirektoratet (the Norwegian Directorate for Education and Training): They have an overview of anti-bullying programmes, professional resources and expertise that can be made available to the school.

Read: Working with the school

From the original FOMIS parents' guide (2018). The content is reviewed and updated.