For you who have just found out

Perhaps it came out last night. Perhaps the suspicion has grown over weeks, and now you know. Your child is being bullied — and here you are, looking for answers.

What you are feeling now — anger, grief, perhaps guilt for not having seen it sooner — are normal reactions. Children often hide bullying, especially from the people they love most. The fact that you know now is the beginning of the solution.

Two things are worth knowing from the very first day: your child has a statutory right to a safe school environment, and the school has a duty to act once you say something. And you are not alone — this guide is written by parents who have stood exactly where you are standing now.

The first three steps

1. Listen to your child. Let your child tell you at their own pace, without interrogation. The most important message is: “I believe you, this is not your fault, and we are going to sort it out.” Read more in Your child needs your support.
2. Start keeping notes today. Write down what you know so far — incidents, dates, names — and keep taking notes from now on. The documentation will matter whichever way the case develops. Read Document everything.
3. Consider whether it is bullying — and choose your approach. Start with the definition of bullying, and then read about the soft strategy and a formal bullying case. Both routes are described step by step in the guide.

If it is urgent

If your child is being subjected to violence or threats, or you are worried about your child's health, you should not wait for processes: contact the school and demand immediate measures, and involve your GP. If you or your child need someone to talk to this evening, there are people awake right now.

See the helplines